It’s been a long time coming

I’ve been incessantly checking my student account and email to hear from the admin about graduation. I guess because I had so much trouble with transferring, not just from one school to another, but also from a school on a semester system to one on a quarter system, that I have become worried that my college career would once again be elongated.  

The past five years have been anything but easy, making me want to quit at several times. Ended friendships, heart break, the death of my dearest friend, financial burdens, and the birth of our son have complicated this area of my life in so many ways. But I wouldn’t take it back for anything.

Within the past five years I have grown into a person that doesn’t take shit from anyone. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get hurt or emotional, because sometimes I do. I speak my mind and I speak the truth. I cherish friendships that are deep and meaningful (although there are few) and I have learned that it’s okay to focus on myself sometimes. One of the most amazing women that I have ever met was my co-teacher from when I was at Montessori. She and I had similar personalities; she encouraged me to be who I really was, she hugged me when I needed it, and encouraged me to take care of myself in order to take care of our students. Going into motherhood I have kept this close, and I still struggle with it. I doubt myself as a wife and if I’m being good to Jasper or doing enough for him. I get frustrated when I can’t get things done that I have on my to-do list. I’ve been overly tired and worn thin. It’s been pointed out to me several times that I can’t do everthing at once. But I sure as hell try.

It’s been a long time coming. This afternoon I checked my student account for the third time since this morning. I’ve officially been awarded my Bachelor of Arts. An overwhelming sense of accomplishment acme over me as it finally hit me that I’m finally done with my undergrad career, and even after everything that’s happened I’ll be graduating Magna Cum Laude. I’m proud of myself for how hard I worked and that I was persistent in wanting to graduate. 

Even more so than before, and even though it’s only been a week since I turned in my last paper, everyone wants to know what I plan to do now that I’m graduated. I think it’s expected that if you graduate from college you pursue a career. But I already have one and I’ve had that same job for over a year. I’m at home with our baby. I’m not quite sure why it’s not okay to go to college just because you like learning. I never intended to go into a real career after college anyways, I wanted to do freelance art. And you know what? That’s what I’m going to do.